Hi Cory, I won't be coming in to work today...

i'm fat.

okay so let's be clear from the start, i'm not about to write a post complaining about my own issues avec "le bulge". i am however going to vent about a very common occurance in zee morning routine... trying on a zillion things and still not being able to find something 1. fashionably brilliant 2. comfortable and 3. figure flattering (my holy trinity should be in tact before leaving the house).

confessione numero due - to admit a small longing for my sissies when i'm getting ready - "jason do you like this shoe or this one?" "they both look good love" long pause - huge pout - and then i change again... why can't i then transport to Cat's closet? ... that'd be nice, but let's be realistic. okay, so why not just call her and send a pic of myself? because if anyone knows my sister, there would be no need to explain her - ahem - "disposition" in the mornings. flashback to about a year ago ... me sneaking into her room while she is in the shower (i of course already know what item i want) frantically rearranging hangers so nothing seems out of place then racing out of the house before she gets out only to get a call on my cell about an hour later... did you take my purple blouse?!

sigh... the good 'ol days.

i think it has a lot to do with the seasonal transition we are in right now. it's not quite time yet to break out the fall clothes (by far the best season for fashion) and my summer repetoire is looking fatigued. or, i should correct myself, it wasn't that "hot" to begin with - summer clothes are poop.

back to my point. we need to include a "fat day" as one of the legitimate reasons to either work from home or be allowed to arrive at least an hour late. i mean c'mon! there's a "moving day" - "sick days" and let's face it those are mostly taken when we need a day off - also known as "mental health/personal day". really. do i need to build my case further?

for all of you sitting at your desks clicking away at the computer and feeling "vaclempt" in your pants right now... shut it down. let's go home. who's comin' with me?!

sausage arm hugs and love,
angela